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"No matter how many times I mend my wounds, I still feel like I'm tearing apart..."
[link]
Last night, I had a terrible dream, of losing those around me, because I had failed. I had failed them all, broken their hearts, shattered their sanity. I spent some of my night crying, crying to be better, to be something more than I am. I try my hardest to be perfect, to be loved by others, to get good grades, to be everything you'd ever want. But I lack so much, and I see my flaws, and when I come face to face with them, I feel worthless, not worth loving.... I mean, I know I'm worth loving, I know I'm so much more, but coming to grips with it, to understand, to love myself, it's harder than it seems...
I've been so used to my depression, that I've always thought it was normal to get sad and think of yourself as a bag of shit, but when I found out that other people, don't feel like that, I felt, even more like a failure. I know most teens get depression, but, I can't help but feel imperfect. I'm glad I don't have sucidial thoughts as often as I use too, but even still, I'm not much better. I still have those thoughts appear more than they should, and I still have so much guilt on my shoulders.
One day, I hope, I'll be better. Worth more to myself than a pathetic rag doll.
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[link]
Last night, I had a terrible dream, of losing those around me, because I had failed. I had failed them all, broken their hearts, shattered their sanity. I spent some of my night crying, crying to be better, to be something more than I am. I try my hardest to be perfect, to be loved by others, to get good grades, to be everything you'd ever want. But I lack so much, and I see my flaws, and when I come face to face with them, I feel worthless, not worth loving.... I mean, I know I'm worth loving, I know I'm so much more, but coming to grips with it, to understand, to love myself, it's harder than it seems...
I've been so used to my depression, that I've always thought it was normal to get sad and think of yourself as a bag of shit, but when I found out that other people, don't feel like that, I felt, even more like a failure. I know most teens get depression, but, I can't help but feel imperfect. I'm glad I don't have sucidial thoughts as often as I use too, but even still, I'm not much better. I still have those thoughts appear more than they should, and I still have so much guilt on my shoulders.
One day, I hope, I'll be better. Worth more to myself than a pathetic rag doll.
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*gives hug with tear*
What people think of me, I try to fix it
But when I see it too... I just...... cry softly, until I'm asleep
What people think of me, I try to fix it
But when I see it too... I just...... cry softly, until I'm asleep